Tuesday, June 21, 2011


Quick update- Last week's weigh in was amazing- God is good, all the time.  247.8 lbs! 
I cannot remember when I weighed this little- I am going to try to get ahold of my adolescent medical records to confirm.

Pushing hard- ramping up the weight lifting days- I can see muscles I did not know existed on me.

64lbs. to go!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Have you ever seen so many losers?

Hey.  Whats Up?

I have noticed on TV that weight loss is EVERYWHERE!!  I know this comes in phases, and that before I was born there were periods of fitness and weight loss focus in our country.   But these stories are like none I've ever heard of.  I watched a story of a guy who lost over 200lbs, had skin removal surgery, and is now feeling better than ever.  Yay! and everyone cheered.... 
I don't know why, I don't know how, but these certain people are chosen.  And their given an incredible opportunity.  To change their life with all the best help, financial assistance and doctors that can do anything.  Then- they're given a platform on which to make a statement about how and why they did this thing- made this change. I keep thinking, this isn't fair! 
I have literally worked my butt off for almost 1 year now, I've lost 150lbs by eating healthy and exercising.
This weekend I weighed in at 251.6lbs

You know, I need help too, but there's no one there that will step in and pay the bill for all the surgery and counseling and food and gym fee's and every other cost associated with changing from Morbid Obesity to Healthy BMI.  Most of us just Deal with it.  We have to Fight- tooth and nail- for every ounce of weight we'll lose. But honestly, every day that we're stuck in the body of something You don't wanna see is like an eternity in pain.

It makes me toss and turn, sometimes.

I wish someone would give me the chance.  I've done 90% of the work without the assistance (besides motivation and support) that these "Contestants" get. 

I wanna feel good about myself too. 
Don't I deserve that?

I know that there is nothing more important than the understanding that Your Son, Jesus died for my sins so that I might live again.  I thank you for the strength, courage and endurance you've placed in me.  I couldn't do this alone.  I ask you for help, Father.  I need something to ease my mind- my soul.  When I look in the mirror all I see is what I have done wrong.  Change that, Lord.  Continue to change me.


67lbs to go!